First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize