why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i came on her dog
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
