I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
