Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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