i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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