I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
