i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
