Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
