My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
