dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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