my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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