I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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