his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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