I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
