You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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