I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize