For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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