Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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