Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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