Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
