so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize