also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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