i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
