I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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