he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
