I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
