I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
