you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
