I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
