Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
