You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
