There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
