who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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