Sry I called you an 8
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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