I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
