i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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