why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
