New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
