Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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