Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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