Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
