Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
