I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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