i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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