i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My pussy is not your playground.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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