Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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