We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
