Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
