so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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