You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
