I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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