if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
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After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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