what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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