i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
