More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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