even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
