Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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