we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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