i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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