I hope mine doesn't look like that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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