Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize