Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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