He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
