When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
