i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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