I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
